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For Kainudy

      I awake;
        my eyes full of dreaming
          brim with tears
            to find you real
          while I am a ghost.

        that steered my
          soul across
            the void
              back to you
        has faded like time
          into the darkness.

        is fragile
        a delicate
          silver shadow
          as readily as
            fine glass.

          death and
        yet that
          which I was
        and that
          which I am
        and that
          which I will become
        will always cherish you.

      I am nothing
        but my long road
        my gains and losses
        words and silences
        refusals and coerced agreements.
        A dancing marionette
            collapsed between acts
        A stumbler
            seeking answers with a white-tipped cane
        A drowner
            struggling in a dry sea
        An insomniac
            scratching the dust for dreams

      Will you love me
        for my yesses
          though they are make-believe?

      Need me
        for pretending
          there are no nos?

      BoingDragon - 9/8/90

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